Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's the Little Things, That Bring Me a Smile...

Lindsay does this link up party every Friday, but I want to make sure to squeeze in a Bonus Boston Food I Ate Friday post, so I am posting this today and linking it up with her tomorrow! 

This last week was really tough for me.  My little bunny passed away from a heart attack and it honestly broke my heart in two.  I loved him with everything I had, and his death was so unexpected and sudden.  It was one of the hardest things I have gone through this year!  I am still recovering and wishing I still had him around.  I have been missing him everyday.  On top of that, I have been deathly sick. 

I really had to search for the silver lining. 

Here is what I came up with:

First and foremost, God is Good All the Time.

I took a night to myself with what ended up being my list of little things: a pile of  new canvases, a glass of wine, and chocolate chip banana bread and then I just painted it out.  I love having time to myself, although sometimes I am in denial about that.  I need to sit and just be in order to process my thoughts.  I want to understand why I react the way I do to everything in my life, and sitting and painting centers me and reminds me what is important.  It is absolutely therapy for me.





As I painted I realized a few things...

Lately I have been homesick, but not for the physical place of Maryland, but for my family to be here next to me.  For my brother Stephen and his girlfriend Nikki to be within driving distance so we can hang and grab dinner, for my twin and his wife to be around the corner so Bill and Christian can watch sports while Cristina and I talk about every piece of gossip we know, for Joy to sit and paint with me and talk about things we want to create, and for my parents to be near enough for me to just drop by and say hi whenever I want and share some wine and cheese.  I do not need this to be in Maryland, but I wish it was possible right now - in this moment.

I love Bill Rogers.  He is equally as sad as me about Spoon and has continued to do his best to take care of me while I have been sick and make every effort to check in on how my heart is doing and what is going on with me.  He really blows me away consistently, and I count myself lucky to say he is the man who will always be in my life.  I don't know how to express to him how much I care, it feels like no words are enough at times!  I love him deep and wide.

Fall is lovely, and there is something magical about it.  Every season has hype and reasons to love it, and while Christmas is my favorite time of year, fall takes a close second.  The colors are wonderful, the flavors and atmosphere are relaxing.  The smells are incredible.  It renews my heart every year to encounter mustard yellows and oranges and reds and to drink cider and wear scarves.  What is it about fall that just warms my heart?!?

Painting is therapy for me.  My little things this week taught me big things and reminded me what is important to me.  If you consider God a friend, lift up my heart in the coming week.  It is hurting over the loss of my bunny friend.  I tried to focus on happy images and bright colors as I painted, and I feel like it helped to lighten the burden on me.

I am learning to count my blessings and see the little things in my every day, some weeks it is so easy, but this week it has been hard.  I think it is ok to struggle as long as we open about it.




Aisle to Aloha

3 comments:

  1. I know the pang of hurting to be near loved ones. Your paintings are beautiful. I hope you have a peaceful weekend.

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  2. chocolate chip banana bread!! yummy, i'm sorry for the loss of your bunny :(

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  3. I love banana bread!! And girl, I know how you feel. I've been apart from my family for about 9 months and it has been so hard. But I love your attitude about finding little things to keep you happy :)

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